Looking for Small Delights
So there’s been a lot of unrest and uncertainty in the world lately. And I’ve found that I’ve had to be more intentional and deliberate about generating joy day-by-day, moment-by-moment. It’s natural to feel a sting of judgment or hesitation when we feel joy amidst global suffering. However, it’s important not to deny ourselves this joy as it gives us the vital energy we need to keep showing up and doing good in the world. It’s also important not to force joy or any pleasant emotion when that’s not what we’re feeling. Bringing acceptance to any emotion that arises allows it to be seen and integrated which helps you gain insight on what action you want to take next. One way to cultivate joy is looking for small delights around you throughout the day.
And that reminds me of a special memory I had from my first silent retreat. I was 19 and accompanied my university’s Buddhist club to join them on a retreat at Deer Park Monastery in southern California, which practices the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh. There was this one nun who lived there, Sister D, who was always smiling and I mean always, like I never saw her without a smile on her face. And it was genuine. One day, while on a silent evening walk, I asked Sister D how she managed to feel joy all the time. She paused and looked down at the apple in her hand and then up to the bright full moon and said, “I have an apple and the beautiful moon. What more could I want?”
This simple teaching stuck with me throughout my life. Her example taught me to look around, in any moment and see beauty, take delight and invite gratitude. During one of her dharma talks I learned of the deep despair that eventually led her to a life as a monastic. I was moved by her story and the potential I then saw in myself to confront and bring compassion to my own suffering. I felt hopeful knowing that if she could generate this kind of joy in the simplest of things after such a life of struggle, I could too.
Mindfulness invites us to look closer and take better care of the people and things in our lives. We slow down to see the symmetry of a flower, to smell fresh morning grass, to delight in a shared smile between a father and his daughter. There is always something to delight in though we may not always be in the mood to look for it. And that’s okay. It’s not helpful to force ourselves into joy. But we can make a habit of looking, and finding glimpses of delight from the perspective of a beginner.
What are some small things in life that delight you?
As I thought about this question, I thought about the movie Amelie and how the characters are introduced by their quirks. If you haven’t seen it, you should. It's a sweet and original film. Amelie is introduced as a woman who focuses on simple pleasures like dipping her hands into bags of grain and cracking the top of creme brulee with a teaspoon. I think about people like this. I ponder what small pleasures they find in their daily lives and it opens my heart, making me feel connected to them even though I don’t know them.
One way to invite more delight from the simple pleasures of life, is to go on a gratitude walk around your home and your neighborhood, looking for aspects of the environment that spark gratitude and delight. Notice objects that make your life easier, appliances, technology even the sidewalk that someone laid down so that you could safely get around. It may feel forced at first but think of it as a practice. You are watering the seeds of gratitude and delight so that they grow a little bit everyday and feel more authentic.
